STEPPING OUT INTO THE UNKNOWN
Part of me wants to just close the book and put it aside.
To not deal with the ending.
I don’t know if I understand yet. I don’t know how to sum up what I have experienced, what is in my heart, my head. Trying to sort and process emotions and thoughts seems unattainable. Emotions that I have been working through since I finally made the decision I was ready to move on from LVR. It is easy to say that it has been a good ride and I am ready to start new and excited for what is next. But that is not enough.
LVR has brought me such wonderful experiences, relationships, struggles, challenges, growth, success.
It has brought me to California.
Saying goodbye has not been about the business or the work that I do, but instead to the potential. To the people I won’t know. To the people I won’t work with. To the person that I fear I won’t be. I never understood until now. The lose of identity I had heard others speak of. The value I put on that identity. What will I be without a business? Without a creative venture? How will I go about this world? Will I no longer be conceived as the same person? But then I think to myself that those are all fears and doubts. The fear of provision. Of finding a new path. Fear has raged and ravished my mind but has finally stilled. With its stillness has come peace. Slowly, hope and excitement has begun to creep in.
LVR might be at its end, but I am not. I don’t know what is next. What I do know is that I continue to be surrounded by people who inspire, encourage, impress, challenge, and support me. With each step I take, I feel closer and closer to where I am trying to go. I don’t have a destination in mind. It is not where I am going, but how I have realized. This next step is with intention and purpose to travel the unknown in community. I want the next chapter to be about people and relationships. I want the journey to be together. That is what I am excited about. Exploring life and what is next while fostering deeper relationships with those I encounter along the way. To not worry about the path or where I want to end up; to walk with an open hand and heart; to follow as life leads.
Thank you for your support and patronage. December 31st will be the last day to shop LVR (unless it just so happens that everything sells out before then). I will most likely still keep the site active for now until I decide what is next. Whether it becomes something else or not. One day it might just be gone. Or it might live on unattended. But this is goodbye.